Manners: A Path between teo Extremes

Manners have boundaries ; these boundaries can be imagined as the upper and lower limits of what we know to be acceptable behavior . If the upper limit has been exceeded , then hostility will result . Likewise , if the lower limit is not attained , then weakness and contempt result . Manners and character are intimately related , they are multifaceted , and each aspect has its upper and lower limits .

Limits for Anger : The middle road is acclaimed courage . That is , having the strength to stand up and denounce evil and weakness . Exceeding the upper limit results in aggression and injustice to others and falling below the lower limit results in cowardice and fear of others .

Limits for Caution : The desired path is to achieve satisfaction in life . Falling below the lower limit results in contempt , humiliation , and loss of respect for oneself and one's family . Exceeding the upper limit results in greed and the desire for forbidden things .

Limits for Envy : The proper balance is to seek contentment with oneself and appreciating the blessings Allah has given your life . Exceeding the upper limit leads to transgression and injustice , desiring to remove the blessings from the envied person , even to the extent of causing injury ; where failing to reach the lower limit means one is weak willed with a lack of self respect .

Limits for Desire : Ideally , this is resting the heart and mind from the efforts of worship and utilizing permissible desires to direct one towards obedience to Allah . Exceeding the upper limit results in lewdness and gluttony , making the person in likeness to an animal – having little or no control of its desires ; whereas falling below the lower limit causes weakness , impotence and self-contempt .

Limits for Rest : The model for our rest should be that of moderation and preparation for worship and conducting our daily lives . Exceeding the upper limit results in negligence , laziness and wastefulness and causes opportunities to be lost ; not reaching the lower limit causes stress , harmful to the health and it causes a strain on the family .

Limits for Generosity : Again , the ideal is always moderation . Passing the upper limit results in squandering and wastefulness ; whereas failing to reach the lower limit results in miserliness and covetousness .

Limits for Jealousy : Going beyond the upper limit leads to doubt , bad thoughts and false accusation of the innocent ; whereas failing to reach the lower limit indicates a lack of self-esteem .

Limits for Humility : Surpassing the upper limit causes contempt and disgrace ; whereas falling below the lower limit results in arrogance and ostentation .

Limits of Honor : Exceeding the upper limit leads to arrogance and contemptible manners and falling below the lower limit results in disgrace and contempt .

Limits of Courage : Going beyond upper limit causes recklessness , while not reaching the lower limit signifies cowardice and weakness .

The governing factor is justice , moderation , or the middle way . When a person's character deviates from this path in either direction it causes their character and strength to decrease by the same degree as the deviation . It is the same for all their actions and activities such as : sleeping , waking , eating , drinking , exercising , seeking solitude , socializing , and so on . Those who take the middle of the extremes will therefore be just , and if they should incline to either direction , their judgment would be diminished , and the fruit they bear would be decreased .

Among the best and most beneficent areas of knowledge is knowledge of the limits of our character , especially those rules governing the acts of exhorting people to do good deeds and advising against doing wrong and the rules governing good character in general . The most knowledgeable people are those who understand the limits as such ; and the most just are those who live within the boundaries of character , action and religious obedience – both in faith and in action .

Taken From: Al-Jumuah Magazine

Extract the Honey, but do not break the Hive

Everything that has gentleness within it is beautified , and whatever lacks it is spoiled . When you meet someone , giving them a bright smile and a kind word , you are displaying a characteristic of the truly successful person , a characteristic even a bee exhibits . When a bee lands on a flower (doing so for a practical purpose ) it does not destroy it , because Allah rewards gentleness with that which He does give for harshness. There are certain people whose personalities are like magnets , attracting everyone who is nearby , simply because they are loved for their gentle talk , their good manners , and their noble deeds .

Winning the friendship of others is an art that is mastered by those that are noble and pious ; a circle of people constantly surrounds them . Their mere presence in a gathering is a blessing , and when they are absent they are missed and asked about .

These blessed people have a code of conduct entitled : '' Repel (the evil ) with that which is better ( i.e. , Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger , and to excuse those who treat them badly ) , then verily ! He , between whom and you there was enmity (will become ) as though he was a close friend '' . [ Qur'an 41:34 ] .

They suck out malice from others with sincerity , forgiveness , and gentleness . They forget evil that was enacted upon them and preserve the memory of kindness received . Biting , harsh words may be aimed at them , but such words pass by their ears without entering and continue on their path without ever returning . They are in a state of calmness . People in general , and Muslims in particular , are safe from suffering any harm at their hands .

The Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alyhe wa sallam said : '' The Muslim is the person whose tongue and hand do not harm others . And a Believer is he , whom others trust , about their blood and wealth.''

He further said : '' Verily Allah ordered me to keep relation with those that cut me off , to forgive the one who does injustice with me , and to give to those who withhold from me.''

The noble Qur'an put it : '' Those who repress anger , and who pardon men ; verily , Allah loves the good-doers.'' [ Qur'an 3:134 ] .

Give to such people glad tidings of a reward close at hand in terms of peace and tranquility . Also , give glad tidings to them a reward in the Hereafter , of gardens and rivers , wherein they will be in close proximity to their forgiving Creator .

'' In a seat of truth ( Paradise ) , near the Omnipotent King ( Allah ) .'' [ Qur'an 55:55 ] .

Taken from: Al-Jumuah Magazine.

Hayaa: A Distinguishing Characteristic Of The Muslim

Fourteen centuries ago , a man was sent as a mercy to humankind . He , sallallahu alayhe wa sallam , came to lead the people away from darkness and into light . He liberated the world from the bondage of idolatry and taught them to worship the only true God . He is the last messenger , a perfect example for humanity , and a true mercy from Allah.

With the message of Islam , the Messenger , sallallahu alayhe wa sallam , elevated human being to their most refined form because he taught them the most beautiful morals . He taught that moral integrity was central to faith and that one of his main goal was to rear men and women of impeccable character . He said , '' Verily , I have been sent for the purpose of perfecting morals .'' ( Muwatta ) . Indeed , it is an integral part of worship for the Muslim to train himself to have the best manners . When the Muslim struggles in purging himself of offensive attributes , he does so for the pleasure of Allah and not for the praise of people .

The most important of the morals that he , sallallahu alayhe wa sallam , taught is Hayaa ( loosely translated as modesty or bashfulness ) . The Prophet , sallallahu alayhe wa sallam , said, '' For every deen there is khuluq ( a distinguishing characteristic ) and the khuluq of Islam is Hayaa .'' Hayaa cannot be explained in one word because it encompasses an entire attitude of being . It could be said that Hayaa means that one feels shame or guilt or resistance to acting in a way that might offend any other being ( Allah ,human , or otherwise ) . Hayaa has two main parts : 1) Hayaa from Allah and 2) Hayaa from people .

Having Hayaa from Allah entails knowing His beautiful names and attributes because this knowledge will make one have awe of Allah's great power and majesty , fear of His punishment , and gratitude for his blessings . The way this will manifest in the Muslim's behavior is that he will always remember that Allah is watching him , hence, he will be so afraid and shy to commit a sin in front of Allah . Hw will always think of Allah before he acts or speaks , out of fear that he would displease his Lord . He will feel so ashamed if he disobeys Allah and rush towards repentance . A person who has Hayaa from Allah will also have sincerity ; he dreads the thought of being a person who acts pious in front of others while disregarding Allah's pleasure .

The Prophet , sallallahu alayhe wa sallam , explained this reality to his companions when he said to them : '' Have Hayaa from Allah as you truly should .'' They said : '' We have Hayaa from Allah Alhamdulillah .'' He , sallallahu alayhe wa sallam , said : '' It is much more than that . He who truly has Hayaa from Allah , let him preserve his head and what perceives it , let him preserve his stomach and what it desires , let him remember death and afflictions , and he who desires the Hereafter abandons the adornments of this world . He who performs all these , is the one who has Hayaa from Allah as he should .''

The meaning of the hadeeth is that true Hayaa is expressed in feeling ashamed to use the blessings that Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala , has granted humans in disobedience . Hence , one with Hayaa would not dare to taint his mind with that which Allah dislikes or allow any of his senses , the outlet to his mind , indulge in haram acts .He would feel ashamed to even taste that which Allah has forbidden of food while Allah provides him with abundant means from halal sources .Most importantly , he would be so conscious of Allah and fearful of Him , that he would never forget his purpose in life or allow this world to distract him from Allah's worship .

It is then natural that this Hayaa , which is an integral part of the human's relationship with Allah , would manifest in the Muslims relationship with people . Having Hayaa from people is expressed in many ways . Among these ways is proper Islamic dress . Men and women are ordered by Allah to cover certain parts of their body as a way to protect their dignity , chastity , and reputations . It is a way to protect against the means that lead to zina ( sexual relations outside marriage ) and fortifies the family institution . This is also achieved through Allah's order to lower one's gaze . It is not permissible for a Muslim to view pictures of nudity , sexual suggestion , intimacy between two people , or a person of the opposite gender who is improperly covered . These are examples of how Hayaa must manifest itself externally , through the adherence to proper Islamic dress and manners , and internally , by not viewing lewd , vulgar , pornographic , or otherwise illicit material .

Hayaa among people is not limited to mere matter of sight , however . Touching or interacting with members of the opposite sex in a manner that is against Shari'ah is also a way in which Hayaa could be violated . In general , men and women are not allowed to mix freely or socialize needlessly . All their conduct should be dignified and formal so that both men and women are treated with respect .

Still , Hayaa is not just a combined set of all of these Islamic rules . Rather it is a whole demeanor . It should be so pervasive in the life of a Muslim that anyone who meets him/her would think of no other word to describe him/her by except : Hayaa . It is manifest in respecting one's elders and teachers . It can be the soft tone a child uses when speaking to his parents or the polite word used when speaking to others in general .

All these acts are part of Eman ( faith ) , because the Prophet , sallallahu alyhe wa sallam , said , '' Eman consists of more than 70 parts and Hayaa is a part of Eman .'' ( Bukhari and Muslim ) .He also said , '' Hayaa and Eman have been paired together , if one is removed the other is removed .'' So every sincere Muslim must evaluate his behavior for the presence of Hayaa – this will indicate his level of Eman .

It is important to understand that the one who acts with Hayaa is not a person who is weak and quiet all the time . Rather , he is a person who is so conscious of Allah at every moment that he acts very carefully . His acts are always based on what please Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala , so he always brings benefit to others and never harms any one with words or deeds . Indeed , the one who acts with Hayaa should feel confident , for the Messenger of Allah , sallallahu alayhe wa sallam , said , '' Hayaa does not bring anything but goodness .'' ( Bukhari )

Taken From Al-Jumuah Magazine

Fearing Allah

In Islam this fear is called Taqwa . It is more than just fear , however , it is also reverence and awe . It is a fear that motivates , not one that cripples , because true fear motivates the servant to obey the injunctions of his Lord . When we fear something in the creation we run away from it . On the other hand , when we fear Allah we run to Him and seek refuge in Him . For Abu Quasi said , '' Whoever fears something run's away from it , and whoever fears Allah run's to Him .'' ( Ihya Uloom Addeen ) . Also , Abu Hafs said , '' Khauf ( fear ) is the whip of Allah that disciplines those who desert Him . Khauf is lamp in the heart ; a person can see by it's light what is good and what is evil . Everybody who fears creation runs away from it . Those who fear Allah run to Him .'' ( Madarij Salikeen ) .

Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala , orders us , '' O you who believe ! Fear Allah as He should be feared and do not die unless you are in the state of submission.'' [ 3:102 ] . Yet despite this , most of us have fallen into the trap of the Satan . He makes us promises that wipe out this fear that is so essential to our success . He robs it from our hearts with each act of disobedience , leaving us weak and propped up with false hopes . Hopes of a long life and of time to change our ways – later .

When we sin , we brush it away like a knat saying Allah is the Most Merciful and the Most Beneficent . We have forgotten that He is also the Most Severe in Punishment . We go through our days with very little , if any fear of Him and His punishment in our hearts . We do not fear death , what awaits us in the graves or standing before Him naked and uncircumcised . But we should , because by fearing Allah we attain for ourselves the best provision for this life and the hereafter . For Allah says , '' And make provisions , for the best provision is Taqwa . Fear Allah O people of intelligence .'' [ 2:197 ] .

So if we were truly smart people , we would fear Allah , and through fearing Allah , attain the good that comes from doing so . What good comes from fearing Allah , you ask ? Well for starters , Paradise . Allah promises , '' And as for he who fears the rank of his Lord and prevents his self from desires , Paradise is certainly his abode .'' [ 79:40 ] . Commenting on this verse , Ibn Kathir said that this is a person who fears standing in front of Allah . He fears His command and it forces him back into obeying Allah . ( Tafseer Ibn Kathir ) .

Another benefit of fearing Allah in this worldly life is freedom from fear in the next . Allah says that those who fear say , '' We only fear a day of frowning and distress from the side of our Lord .'' [ 76:10 ] . About this verse Ibn Kathir said that this is in the hope that Allah will protect them on that day and show them His Grace . ( Tafseer Ibn Kathir ) .

This fear was something that the companions of Prophet , sallallahu alyhe wa sallam , had in abundance . It distinguished and honored them in this life and purchased for them the Grace of their Lord . About them Ali said , '' By Allah I have seen the Companions of the Prophet , sallallahu alyhe wa sallam , such that I have not seen anybody like them today . They used to wake up as if they had ridden goats all night with their clothes and hair disheveled . They spent the night performing bowing and prostration for Allah , reciting the Book and altering between their feet and foreheads . And when they awoke in the morning , they remembered Allah an dremained like a tree ( whose branches ) swaying in the wind with their eyes pouring tears so much that they wet their clothes . Now , it seems as if people are going to sleep completely oblivious and unaware .'' ( Ihya Uloom Addeen ) .

But we are not like this . Our desires have overtaken us and false hopes have hardened our hearts . The only thing that can remedy this situation is for us to re-acquire the fear of Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala . For Imam Ghazali stated , '' Fear rips away desires and muddies luxuries so that cherished sins become reprehensible , just as a honey lover is repelled by it when he learns that it has poison in it . This is how fear burns desires ; disciplines the organs ; subordinates the heart and gives it tranquility .'' ( Ihya Uloom Addeen ) .

The fear of the believers in Allah , should draw them closer to Him . We should not be without fear , because this leads to disobedience , which leads to Hellfire . We should also not be so fearful that it leads to despondency and hopelessness . We should walk in between these two , and know that by doing so Allah will reward us . As Imam Shafi'i said , '' Fear Allah and hope for every good thing from Him . Do not follow your adamant self , lest you regret it . Remain between hope and fear and you will rejoice with the pardon of Allah if you submit .'' ( Muajjamul Udaba ) .

Taken From: Al-Jumuah Magazine

A Heart Unmoved, A Spirit Uninspired

I got this article from Al-Jumuah Magazine, may be you know it or you must have read it before. But I wanted to post it here cause it's relevent to todays times and also there are many who cannot afford to buy the Magazine itself.

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We grew up in a world of video games , music , songs , commercials and movies . All these were aimed at one thing : to capture our attention and entertain . Those who make such things spend there lives studying how to take hold of the hearts of even those uninterested viewers . This constant bombardment with stimulation of every kind has , in a sense , made our hearts lazy . In order to be moved , there must be flashing lights , charismatic speech , or something otherwise dramatic . The result : our younger brothers and sisters suffer from attention deficit disorder ( ADD ) , we , the Muslim youth raised in America , suffer from what the Qur'an calls: qaswatl qalb or hardness of heart .

This hardness of heart has , unfortunately , left us with a huge empty space in our chest . And this emptiness , we seek to fill with what first seizes our hard-to-hold attention . Often times this may not be what is most deserving of attention but rather , simply what is most readily available and most openly attractive and alluring . Some of us may turn to music or painful obsession , disguised as love . Even those youth who search for an Islamic solution to their emptiness have tended to prefer such Islamic speakers whose speech is more entertaining and captivating to those whose actual message may hold more substance .

This tendency to seek what is on display is discussed in the Surah of Al-Araf [ 7:169] . Allah describes those who came after the Prophets , alayhemus-salam , and die by saying that they chose arada hatha al-adna . Arada literally means , '' that which is on display .'' Here Hatha means '' of this '' and al-adna means , '' that which is lower or closer.'' Thus one of the causes of their ruin was that they chose what was on display even if it was lower . They preferred that which was closer and easier , rather than searching for that which was truer , purer , and more lasting .

The Qur'an does not come with the same flashing lights as does the entertainment and advertisements that surround us today . The Qur'an captures only the hearts of those open to its message , and those willing to strive for the Truth expounded in it . Allah says , '' This is the Book about which there is no doubt , a guidance for those who have Taqwa.'' [2:2] . We know that it requires a great deal of hard work and struggle to embark on the only straight path . And so we often search for easy answers , quick fixes for our painful ailments . We look to other than Allah to fill our emptiness .

Allah knows us far better than we know ourselves . He knows the diseases that overtake our hearts . He knows the emptiness that fills our lives . Allah says , '' And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him , and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein '' [ 50:16 ]. And so Allah , in His ultimate mercy and kindness , has also given us the cure . Allah says , '' Oh mankind , there has come to you instruction from your Lord and healing for what is in the breasts and guidance and mercy for the believers.'' "Say , 'in the bounty of Allah and in His mercy-in that they accumulate .' '' [ 10:57-58 ] . The true pleasure of the heart , which comes only through the remembrance of Allah , is greater than all else that we can accumulate . It is Allah who calls man to the home of peace . It is crucial to mention here that this is the only home of peace , i.e. , the one in the Hereafter with our Creator . The only source of peace is Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala . It is vital to understand that there can be no other source of true happiness and fulfillment , in this life or the next . Imam Ibn Taymiyyah explains that the one who does not partake in the Paradise of this life will not partake in the Paradise of the Hereafter .

It is clear to most of us what the Paradise of the Hereafter is . Yet the question remains as to what the Paradise of this life is . How does one achieve true happiness in this life ? The truth is , in this life ; unless one's heart is full with the remembrance of Allah , nothing else can fill them or provide them with true pleasure .

It must become clear to us that a life lived in any other way , for any other cause , with any other goal , is not life , but is death . Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala , tells mankind , " Oh you who believe answer Allah and His Messenger when he calls you to that which gives you life ; and know that Allah comes in between a man and his heart , and that it is He to which you shall ( all ) be gathered .'' [ 8:24 ] . We must , therefore , understand that all of us are dead except those who believe and truly understand the Reality . Those who are heedless to the truth will face this Reality , and then what they call death will actually be an awakening to the truth that they did not see in their death here on earth .

Thus our hearts will continue to be dead , our lives will continue to be empty so long as we do not understand this truth and continue to search for easy answers in places other than those mentioned by Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala , and His messenger , sallallahu alyhe wa sallam .