Friday, May 1, 2009

Manners: A Path between teo Extremes

Manners have boundaries ; these boundaries can be imagined as the upper and lower limits of what we know to be acceptable behavior . If the upper limit has been exceeded , then hostility will result . Likewise , if the lower limit is not attained , then weakness and contempt result . Manners and character are intimately related , they are multifaceted , and each aspect has its upper and lower limits .

Limits for Anger : The middle road is acclaimed courage . That is , having the strength to stand up and denounce evil and weakness . Exceeding the upper limit results in aggression and injustice to others and falling below the lower limit results in cowardice and fear of others .

Limits for Caution : The desired path is to achieve satisfaction in life . Falling below the lower limit results in contempt , humiliation , and loss of respect for oneself and one's family . Exceeding the upper limit results in greed and the desire for forbidden things .

Limits for Envy : The proper balance is to seek contentment with oneself and appreciating the blessings Allah has given your life . Exceeding the upper limit leads to transgression and injustice , desiring to remove the blessings from the envied person , even to the extent of causing injury ; where failing to reach the lower limit means one is weak willed with a lack of self respect .

Limits for Desire : Ideally , this is resting the heart and mind from the efforts of worship and utilizing permissible desires to direct one towards obedience to Allah . Exceeding the upper limit results in lewdness and gluttony , making the person in likeness to an animal – having little or no control of its desires ; whereas falling below the lower limit causes weakness , impotence and self-contempt .

Limits for Rest : The model for our rest should be that of moderation and preparation for worship and conducting our daily lives . Exceeding the upper limit results in negligence , laziness and wastefulness and causes opportunities to be lost ; not reaching the lower limit causes stress , harmful to the health and it causes a strain on the family .

Limits for Generosity : Again , the ideal is always moderation . Passing the upper limit results in squandering and wastefulness ; whereas failing to reach the lower limit results in miserliness and covetousness .

Limits for Jealousy : Going beyond the upper limit leads to doubt , bad thoughts and false accusation of the innocent ; whereas failing to reach the lower limit indicates a lack of self-esteem .

Limits for Humility : Surpassing the upper limit causes contempt and disgrace ; whereas falling below the lower limit results in arrogance and ostentation .

Limits of Honor : Exceeding the upper limit leads to arrogance and contemptible manners and falling below the lower limit results in disgrace and contempt .

Limits of Courage : Going beyond upper limit causes recklessness , while not reaching the lower limit signifies cowardice and weakness .

The governing factor is justice , moderation , or the middle way . When a person's character deviates from this path in either direction it causes their character and strength to decrease by the same degree as the deviation . It is the same for all their actions and activities such as : sleeping , waking , eating , drinking , exercising , seeking solitude , socializing , and so on . Those who take the middle of the extremes will therefore be just , and if they should incline to either direction , their judgment would be diminished , and the fruit they bear would be decreased .

Among the best and most beneficent areas of knowledge is knowledge of the limits of our character , especially those rules governing the acts of exhorting people to do good deeds and advising against doing wrong and the rules governing good character in general . The most knowledgeable people are those who understand the limits as such ; and the most just are those who live within the boundaries of character , action and religious obedience – both in faith and in action .

Taken From: Al-Jumuah Magazine